Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A little help, please

I think I'm having writer's block. I've been trying to write a post on National Adoption Month for days now. I finally just threw in the towel; it ain't gonna happen. There's too much I want to say, it's too tied in knots, and nobody would want to read it. So, I'm stealing a post from my sister, Ali, instead. She and her husband are adopting a son from South Korea next month. She wrote this recently, and I thought it was lovely:

Jaden will have three moms in his life. I think a lot about all three of these moms on a daily basis: his first mother, his foster mother, and me. I think about these three moms so much. I will meet his foster mother soon. She has taken care of him every day since he was just a tiny, tiny baby. She knows his cries when he is hungry, she took care of him this fall when he was sick, and she is preparing to say good-bye to him in the next few weeks. I want to write her a letter to have translated into Korean. I want to tell her how much peace her love and care has brought to my husband and me during these torturous weeks waiting to meet our son. I want to tell her thank you.

I may or may not ever meet Jaden's first mother-- his birthmother. Her story is one I cannot imagine, but her life will be linked forever to mine. I do not want to trivialize or minimalize her decisions and sacrifices by speculating what may or may not have been. But I do want to recognize that I think of her daily. She knew Jaden from the beginning, and has given us a son to love for a lifetime. Our gratitude for this is indescribable.

Over the past two weeks, I feel like I have started identifying as a mother. There is no rulebook here-- becoming a mother through adoption. I am overcome with excitement, fear, love, amazement, and awe simultaneously. I'm going to be Jaden's mom. I don't want to let his other two down.

Ali writes about her adoption process on her blog, Days of Our Lives. (Kindly direct all complaints about that unfortunate title to her.) Congratulations, Ali and Dustin. Words cannot express how happy I am for you.

1 comment:

  1. I found you through Backpacking Dad...and I am glad i did. I was adopted and I'd love to hear what you were going to post. I recently met (for the first time) my natural mother. Great post.
    i will be back.
    check out my bog if you can.


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