Monday, March 30, 2009

Kitchen Utensils and Marital Stability

The following is an example of why I know, in my heart, that Jeff and I will never get divorced. This discussion took place during dinner preparation the other night.
Me: Man, I really hate this potato masher.
Jeff: Me too. It sucks.
Me: I think we should commit to addressing this problem.
Jeff: Yeah.
Jeff: I'm really glad we had this talk.
Me: throws potato masher in trash can

Seriously, with communication like that, what could ever go wrong?

Never mind the fact that we will probably forget to buy a new potato masher. Never mind the fact that sometime next month one of us will be looking for the potato masher and will snark at the other, "What the hell did you do with the potato masher?!" and the other will respond, "Me? Why is it always me? I didn't do anything with it. What did you do with it?" And the other will mutter under his/her breath, "Whatever. Screw you." Never mind the fact that this scenario is a very real possibility.

Okay. But here's how I really know we'll never get divorced: that argument won't matter a bit. We'll forget to buy a new potato masher for the next 14 months, and we'll bicker about it. And it won't matter at all.

People like us, we could put Dr. Phil out of work. Maybe.


  1. Haha...marital bliss! I have had such conversations at my house....usually they have less gusto...

  2. So Jeff can throw out a potato masher but not a pair of parachute-pahnt shorts circa 1982?? I may get you a new masher and some legwarmers just to add fuel to the fire of your marriage.

  3. Hey-Zeus Cristo! We have found our doppelgangers!

    Except I am WAY more snipe-y and sarcastic about such things, or unbelievably hilarious, depending on your perspective. (Guess which one is mine?)

    I was listening to a elderly couple gently bicker in the library just today, maybe in their 80s or at least very near it, and I was overwhelmed with the realization that they sounded exactly like my wife and I do now, and we're only just starting to imagine what 30 will be like someday.

    It was like freezing cold and scalding hot water at once, you know what I mean? I don't know what to make of it. Great post!


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